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i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Say something about gay babies.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Randomize
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