No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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