I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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