Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
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how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
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I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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