As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize