why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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