and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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