WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
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I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
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And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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