he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
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By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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