have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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