she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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