she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize