nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
no you cant smoke seaweed
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize