Moan for me like Helen Keller
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
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You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
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Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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