Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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