Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
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She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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