How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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