i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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