You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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