R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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