so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
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