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In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
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