Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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