the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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