i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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