"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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