As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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