david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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