i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize