I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
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Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
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The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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