yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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