hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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