thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
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I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
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I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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