peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Fuck appropriateness.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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