Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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