Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize