TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
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I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
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I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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