I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
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You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
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I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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