My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize