Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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