Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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