Texts From Last Night

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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Nice use of current day folklore

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  (952): I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur (612): Nice use of current day folklore http://tfl.nu/cnmj
  Replies (36) Good night (737) Bad night (2722)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.

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  (484): drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart. http://tfl.nu/h0kh
  Replies (14) Good night (1015) Bad night (2690) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.

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  (404): You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense. http://tfl.nu/zmp3
  Replies (12) Good night (5688) Bad night (525)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world

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  (914): I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world http://tfl.nu/9m7n
  Replies (40) Good night (5639) Bad night (1405) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike

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  (419): i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike http://tfl.nu/sgnh
  Replies (23) Good night (1061) Bad night (7261) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  sorry about calling you the devil all night.

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  (904): sorry about calling you the devil all night. http://tfl.nu/78dt
  Replies (9) Good night (3619) Bad night (819) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM

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  (917): I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM http://tfl.nu/bjwa
  Replies (5) Good night (2971) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby

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  (573): Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby http://tfl.nu/0mu9
  Replies (7) Good night (2513) Bad night (893)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?

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  (303): What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night? http://tfl.nu/ofgo
  Replies (3) Good night (2110) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love

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  (360): she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love http://tfl.nu/d5q9
  Replies (22) Good night (2043) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!

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  (248): In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list! http://tfl.nu/ms7h
  Replies (20) Good night (1219) Bad night (421)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."

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  (478): Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like." http://tfl.nu/6r4y
  Replies (6) Good night (1025) Bad night (507)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?

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  (503): Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right? http://tfl.nu/3qlx
  Replies (13) Good night (1124) Bad night (302) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  "I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."

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  (219): "I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance." http://tfl.nu/fhmo
  Replies (6) Good night (614) Bad night (207) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.

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  (201): It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night. http://tfl.nu/1gt9
  Replies (2) Good night (545) Bad night (189) Order T-Shirt

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