I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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