escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize