Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
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She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
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If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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