Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick

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  (317): i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick http://tfl.nu/0icp
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.

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  (618): id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga. http://tfl.nu/30m7
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY

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  (302): there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY http://tfl.nu/y320
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  (818): View more from California

  Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.

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  (818): Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me. http://tfl.nu/23e4
  Replies (35) Good night (1367) Bad night (3714) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth

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  (619): I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth http://tfl.nu/3dui
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.

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  (201): i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds. http://tfl.nu/tub0
  Replies (12) Good night (2955) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.

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  (580): I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off. http://tfl.nu/wwj4
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water

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  (203): Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water http://tfl.nu/s84f
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore

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  (609): just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore http://tfl.nu/abxm
  Replies (8) Good night (1007) Bad night (3358) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job

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  (615): What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job http://tfl.nu/r059
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.

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  (812): Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk. http://tfl.nu/ok5q
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  (914): View more from New York

  I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.

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  (914): I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me. http://tfl.nu/fqr3
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  (415): View more from California

  You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.

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  (415): You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink. http://tfl.nu/i804
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha

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  (515): Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha http://tfl.nu/i50q
  Replies (8) Good night (1608) Bad night (229) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."

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  (586): The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON." http://tfl.nu/rycj
  Replies (4) Good night (914) Bad night (175) Order T-Shirt

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