and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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