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i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
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