were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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