2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize