A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
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I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
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He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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