After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
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He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
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Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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